The ups and downs are not the aspects of my experience that mystify me, it is the sense that everything is okay that does. I define okay as my experience of feeling healthy, active, and content, and in this state, my thought process is clearly associated with feeling inspired. The alignment of the physical, mental and emotional bodies gives rise to a sense of anything being possible. On the other hand, misalignment between vitality, emotion, and mind fosters a reality perceived as threatening, and extremely challenging. I no longer need the world burning down around me to feel a strong internal response to the world. An ever-present sense of internal discomfort is at times the only signal we have to go on.
I recall shells of memories of nonresponsive, or over-responsive reactions from me. Have you experienced those times when responding to anything was questioned with, where did that come from, or, are you incapable of feeling anything? I have read that memory is not of the original event. Our remembrance in our minds is not of the actual fact, and each succeeding memory is of the preceding one. That is why memories fade, and some vanish. It is my observation that mind also has an energetic component. The difference between the memory of memory and its active component is an energetic quantity, or precisely, a vibration that exist at the moment and exerts an influence in our lives.
Think of vibration as a beacon, either showing the way due to its visibility or set adrift in the ocean of consciousness either denied or ignored or being utterly unknown to our conscious mind, but sending out a signal. Our being's vibration is responsible for what we experience in life. Some refer to an energetic vibration as, the law of attraction, and this makes a lot of sense. I equate my inner resonance to that of the sensation I experience engaged in mantra meditation. When I first initiate the manta I become a witness to my mind's activity, and within a few minutes, mental activity has settled down, and the object of my awareness becomes my own subjectivity as the object. I experience inner awareness as a vibrant stillness. My perception of the external is intact; however, my mind is not identifying or analyzing, it is at rest yet awake in itself.
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